Bird Tweets

Day 145 Help For The Helper

Girls you are not helping. Not one bit. I am at this moment grappling with..let me count...hold on...12 different windows open on my desktop. Each one of those windows is a blog post that belongs to one of you that i want to read. Like Tangobaby's story of a life-long wish come true. And i am dying to read Tara's post all about falling off her pedestal. Say what!?? Then Meg came upon acres and acres of sunflowers in the middle of Kansas and captured the most amazing photographs posting them for all the world to enjoy! You've got to go see them.

And there in lies the problem. Every one of you love everything about blogs. You love creating them, reading them and telling the rest of us where to go for amusement, beauty and heart wrenchingly poignant real life stories. What red blooded blogger can resist this constant temptation?

Today in particular i had made a pinky swear with myself that i would not blog hop until i had washed my kitchen floor, all the bedding, the downstairs windows and dug up that ugly azalea bush. And i did good too. All morning i toiled away feeling proud of my strength of character. Then around 2pm i said to myself; "hey this isn't that hard." "i can have a small peek. just for 5 minutes or so..."

All my good intentions unravel and a full blown relapse ensues.

If any of you use sitemeter and notice that there is an IP address from Oregon holding your blog open for 3 solid hours that'll be me.

I'm here to tell ya that it is now 6 pm and i have yet to have gotten the sheets on the bed or the rugs back on the floor. Not one window is squeaky clean. Forget the damn azalea. I simply have been going back and forth, back and forth from computer to kitchen to computer to basement from computer to the laundry room. I haven't even read much on your blogs. It's the inner conflict...it keeps me agitated and unable to focus properly on any of it.

Sigh.... the good news is that all recovery begins with a single step and the idea is to take one step at a time not 12 at once. So i'm feeling better having confessed all of this to you. Much, much better. Thanks.

P.S. I'll be by to visit most of you this evening 'cause i am going to be gone most of the day tomorrow. I'm heading up to Washington for a FLea Market put on by Barnhouse. I will meet Rebekah from Little Byrd for the first time as well. She is bringing some amazing hand made items to sell. They look irresistible! And i have the honor of being a "celebrity" judge in their Chili Cook-Off and Deliciously Sweet Bake-Off Competition. Queen of Tasty Tweets you know :)

See you soon!

Day 144 Help For Women Who Blog Too Much

I'm very pro confession. I think everyone needs to have a good cleanse every now and again. I mean i am a therapist after all so it makes sense that if something is bothering me enough i will want to "talk about it." Sometimes i'm a very bad therapist and i want to hear other people talk about "IT" so i can get free tips about how to handle my own problems before i focus on theirs....

Dr. Bird: "no really.. tell me more about that time." "you know, that time you say you stayed up 3 nights running blog hopping on your computer. You know, it was during that week your husband thought you were sleeping with your 2 year old giving comfort during nightmares."

Client: "i really don't like to talk about it....i mean it seems like i can't stop myself, it's kind of like a compulsion...." "Dr. Bird do you think i'm addicted? do i need....treatment for this?"

Dr. Bird: "hmmmmm..."

I confess. I think I have a problem. No. I know i do. I spend A LOT of time these days in activities related to blogging. I think about blogging when i wake up... when i get up.... when i'm making breakfast, eating lunch. While driving i get ideas for photographs. I have to stop and write them down. When on a call i end up sitting in front of the computer randomly jotting down my ideas for a "Blogstock" (think Woodstock in Avalon). I lose track of the conversation and have to jump up and move across the room, turning my back on the computer.

I have an endless list of places to visit. I keep adding more feeds to my reader. I am insatiable. I want to read. I want to write. I want to post my photos and comment on other's. I have a Typepad account, a Blogger page, a .Mac website. I am a member of Blipfoto, of Flickr, of JPG. I want to meet my friends in person. I'm an avid fan of so many bloggers.

Do you see where this is going? I have sleepless nights. I haven't mentioned laundry, paying bills nor feeding Zippy. No. I haven't even drunk my coffee and my blogging day has begun. And it builds from there.

Will Annie be posting another of her beautiful paintings? When will Liz share another chapter from her book? Am i going to laugh or cry when i go to visit Debi? And how about the antics of Jan's adorable pups.

Now that i've downed that first cup of coffee, checked the garden and gotten Zippy rousted i settle in to see what the photographic geniuses have been up to. Off i go to visit Darlene knowing without question that she has posted some amazing holga shot accompanied by a brilliant poem she wrote in her mind while flying across town in a thunderstorm on her bicycle to work. I get electrified just reading about it! Jamie's posts are hypnotic, full of magic brilliance. I must visit her.

I seem to be making new friends at a rate that would not be possible in the corporeal world of meeting once a month for coffee dates that get rescheduled or promised lunches that end up needing to be cancelled and the busy, busy lives of all us.

In the meantime my husband is asking my opinion on the failure of democracy, my business phone is ringing and going to voice mail and i haven't sent out a bill for my therapy services in over a month. What's going to happen to me? How am i to get a grip on my life again? Do i even want to get a grip or do i just want to float off into the blogoshere never to be found in human form again?

Wow. This is serious.

DO NOT FREAK OUT if think you may be suffering from this malady. Abstinence is not necessary for recovery. As soon as i can stay off my computer long enough i will develop a WWBTM 12 Step Program with a focus on symptom management. Recovery begins with a community of those who share a common affliction and a desire for self improvement so you DO NOT have to give up your blogging or your friends.

Below you will find a symptom checklist. If you have identified with 4 or more of these you may need to seek professional help.

1. Absent mindedness, forgetfulness, inability to focus on tasks at work or home.
2. Obsessive checking of your and other's blogs.
3. Insomnia.
4. Inability to stop thinking about blogging.
5. Constant smiling at inappropriate moments.
6. Bewilderment and confusion in following the conversations of non-bloggers.
7. Feelings of guilt for being defensive with family and friends who question your priorities.
8. Feelings of loss when away from computer.
9. Neurotically seeking WiFi connections when traveling.
10. Concealing from other's how much time and energy are devoted to your computer.

To make an appointment to speak with Dr. Bird you can call Lucy at 1-900-824-4455 for an appointment. To hear a sample of Dr. Bird's therapeutic methods go here.

Remember this is not an addiction you need to recover from. You have been misunderstood by the world. In fact there needs to be more community education about the benefits of blogging. No one can keep you from having a successful and fulfilling blogging life. There is help and support available from one who understands. There is hope. Balance is possible!

Day 95 Dr. Bird And The Depressed Tulips

Lucy here: "I have to tell you all that Dr. Bird was very, very nervous about going on the air live. She did manage to take her own advice though about stage fright....she took 3 Xanex with an 8oz glass of Fresh Spring Water and after 30 minutes rest she was able to cope with her anxiety long enough to do the show.

"And so i give you the Dr. Bird Online Radio Show! How about a hand of applause for our very own Dr. Bird!!!!"

(As always if you get a broken looking link then refresh your browser.) and just in case it still doesn't work here is a link that will take you where you need to go :)

Day 89 Calling Dr. Bird

Due to circumstances beyond her control Dr. Bird will be unable to set up her Bird Booth today as scheduled. She hopes to have the cash for the final payment of her Blog Booth Taxes within the next two days. If you have submitted a question for Dr. Bird she is keeping a file and will get to it as soon as she is able. In the meantime if you wish to leave her a phone message call her at: 1-900-824-4455 and follow Lucy's instructions.

Use that refresh button on your browser if you get the question mark instead of the . If you would prefer to watch this at higher quality click here to get to an outside link. Thanks for placing your psychological health in the hands of Dr. Bird!

Day 85 I've Been Preparing

This week i had a client ask me if i ever go to blogs that are "pay per click". I asked him what he meant and he said that professional people sometimes have web sites that you have to pay to look at. At this point images are floating, unwanted into my mind.... unmade beds, naked women, ropes..... i shook my head in an effort to banish the sight of a 6 foot 2 woman in fishnet stockings.. I said i had never heard of that and asked "what kind of people do that sort of thing" ...and truthfully i had a kind disdainful tone in my voice. he said : "people like you." Right then i knew exactly what i had to do. And i knew i wanted to get started immediately. This is a photo of me.....preparing....

First off let me ask you a few questions. I'm wondering...how many of you have watched Dr. Phil's show Uncensored with episodes like: " Is Your Child A Beauty Queen?" Or gone to his advice page and taken the "Authentic Self Litmus Test" only to discover you might be "Living To Your Labels"? Which i assume means you might be using Christian Dior as your personal self image coach.

Has anyone been to see Dr. Laura's one woman show called "In My Never To Be Humble Opinion"? Or have you picked up her book “The Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives”? Apparently on her radio show she "dispenses no-nonsense advice" to the dozen or so people (usually women) who call in looking for help. Unfortunately for them they often find themselves exposed as 'irresponsible', 'immoral' and likely to be 'the cause of their husband's roving eye'.

As a therapist myself I have nothing to say about her therapeutic approach except to note that she wrote a book titled: 'The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands' which sounds more like a cross between animal husbandry and a recipe for misogyny than a thoughtful and well researched book on how to make a successful marriage.

Dr. Phil on the other hand is a true celebrity with a head for numbers and an uncanny ability to hone in on where the real money opportunities are. His income topped out at $42 million is 2006. Unfortunately for him it dropped to a mere $30 million by 2007. It must have been a real blow to his ego. His skill as a family therapist has been televised on no less than 5 separate television series so that i need not give any kind of review here on his professional abilities. You can decide for yourself what you think of his approach.

I myself have neither seen them on TV or read their books. Maybe that is a mistake on my part. Maybe i am missing vital training in my field of expertise. I will perhaps regret my neglect later in life. For now though i am quite happy living in the la la land of Bird Tweets.

In my other life, my life away from Avalon and Bird Tweets, i work as a therapist and have a modest private practice. I love my work. I counsel people to be compassionate in the world, which naturally includes their families. I encourage them to listen to themselves and to be aware of how their choices set the stage for their lives. I promote physical health and spiritual exploration. I believe in kindness, humor and honesty. I am very direct and down to earth. My clients like me. They also report they feel better. And that makes me happy. The reason i went into the Dr. Phil/Laura thing was to emphasize our differences.

All that said it is time to get back to the brilliant brain storm i had when my client asked me about the pay per click thingy. I have been waiting for the moment to do this since i first started my blog and I have two friends, Tracy and Peggy who suggest it to me repeatedly.... "Get your Lucy booth on the web!"

My booth, i mean the one that Dr. Bird uses, is a knock off of the 'Lucy as psychiatric consultant' booth from Charlie Brown. I am going to plant it here on Bird Tweets and open it up for business.... for all of you to use on a fee per click basis. Isn't that awesome?!

My plan is to open it up once a week for questions posted to Dr. Bird via the email link i added to my blog. See it up there on the left? It says: I'm friendly e-mail me .. and one of the options is: I want to schedule An Appointment with Dr. Bird. Dr, Bird.. that's me... I will tell you right now though that i am not the kind of Dr. that can do lobotomies or prescribe cannabis for pain. I am not in reality a Dr. at all. I am a social worker and a darn good therapist.

So here is the deal. I will post the booth once a week, probably on mondays..or wednesdays. Initially i will post a topic or theme and suggest you ask a question that you would like Dr. Bird to help you with. You send me an e-mail with your question. You can share your identity with readers or you can have that be confidential. Be sure to indicate your preference in your e-mail. Once the question is randomly selected out of a hat by my assistant Lucy i will post it for you all to see. Then it's up to Dr. Bird to meditate, cogitate and consult in order to come up with a response worthy of print. Within a day or two i will post the whole kit and kabbodle for everyone to ponder.

It's a great plan! I am very excited to get started. If you could see me now you would know i was just itching with anticipation!

Oh... one more thing. You will note there is a sign on the booth that says Psychiatric Help 5 cents. I will initially be providing my services pro bono. Once we all get settled we can discuss the way to pay your fee via the bank... no not your real bank but that one there at the foot of the booth. Lets not worry about it for now. Money is the root of all evil anyway so why make trouble here at Bird Tweets by introducing commerce when everything is going along so wonderful and happy?!!